Checkmate!

sometimes the knowledge of not knowing something is,
more comforting than the knowlefge of knowing everything.

suddenly something struck me,
brilliant as it first may seem,
complications might follow.
but it sounds really good,
if once and for all,
you want to make a sweet escape from everything that you know.

would everything really be better if i left? its not too late yet.
leave everything behind, bear the pain for awhile and just
let it all go.
i dont know.

-

posted by KIMKEAT @ 1:05 AM

lets all not think so much, and let it all go.
in the first place, im not expecting anything in return.
its just that, i dont know how to feel now.
and the best way is not to feel anything.

i dont know what you want, and i dont know what i want either.
i dont get what you're trying to get, or what you dont know that you've already got.
i just hope to know because this way i can understand more,
but to do that you will have to open up.
because there is more than one party involved in this.

its like you're lost in a jungle, full of lions.
would you kill yourself on the spot to save yourself from the pain,
or would you live on the little hope that you would be rescued or escape from the lions?

i just want the ansswers to my questions,
why must everything else be so complicated.
i dont understand i really dont..

good things come by rather quickly, they go off just as quickly though.
i guess the hard part is making them last.
if you cant let it go, dont lie to yourself that you can
..


lets play good football. HA.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 12:36 AM

these few weeks havent been good, i can safely say that, i saw a week full of emotions and confusion,
but most importantly, all these is unnecessary.

you see, one matter links to another almost certainly, and thus, it is too damn hard not to get affected. really.

there are only a few things i want to address.
first, the complicated relation that has been causing everyone so much trouble, but i want you all to know that, if you all do not try to care about it so much, there wouldnt have to be so much lies and deception. think about it, who brought it upon , why is there a need to hide. i mean i dont know lah, but then i do know that this has been causing alot of hurt and frustration. this is a problem for me, i know, but i dont think this is worth so much of your care. i have let you down, and i dont want what you have warned me about to come true and hurt you again. even if there is hurt to be caused, let me be the one that will be hurt. let me take it alone. dont care too much. and to the rest, i hope that you all know this is just another one of those situations where problems are bounc to arise. it is actually not so complicated , but because of certain involvements, the stories have gradually changed from here to there. it is not that i dont regard you as a friend when i lied to you, i always have, and i knew someday you were bound to find out, and it is definitely not to safeguard my own intentions. it is to safeguard what i thought was here intention to keep it low, i am sorry. having said that, i stick to my stand that if there wasnt so much people caring about it andgiving it so much attention, things would not be complicated.
i want to make it clear, maybe the other side too. but then, because of things i cannot say it out, i cant. this is very frustrating, really. i cannot take a stand, because my stand might be wrong. maybe i think too much, as a result of that happening.
i dont know, i really dont know.
sometimes i dont know whats on your mind, why you dont want to open up and just let me know. i dont know how you feel and how to react, but from what i heard, it doesnt look good.
maybe its all bound to fail right from the moment we started to talk.

another thing making life so frustrating is of course football. soccer hasnt been good, we are all demoralised and it is not helping that friendlies against strong opponents just keep coming our way. okay actually it isnt that bad, just that our morale is gone and that we have no more confidence, leading to us feeling frustrations and even worst, our passion just going away. some have complained of quitting, i dont know, i dont want to think about it.
furthermore, now even my mum and sis is asking me to go see a doctor. its not that i dont want to , its just that, i feel the pain is still bearable for me, i can take it and i will.

i dont know, why is life being so hard on me now.

i want to apologise, it was sth i had to do and sth you did not have to know, you have to understand why i did it. and i hope our friendship is not affected by that.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 11:19 PM

in this game of trust, will i finally be defeated?
who is on my side, and who is on yours?

tell me whyyyy.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 8:01 AM