Checkmate!

i read it, its quite nice. i can feel what you want to say to me, and i appreciate it.
i need time to think about what i want to say, because its as though there's this mental blockage and i cant seem to be able to say what i want to say. that strange unfamiliarity, i feel it too. im sure, we both feel it when we see each other. so let me have some time to think.
thanks for saying you'll be there.

there's someone out there who is also very important to me that will be there for me,
even though sometimes when she least expects it the most she leaves me alone cos she thinks i dont need her but obviously i do. =)

but thanks anyway, ill be here too.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 8:29 AM

basically i dont know what to say.
its as though this huge rock hit me straight in the face,
sometimes i feel as if i was made to handle these kind of things,
sometimes i feel noone understands enough.

is being jealous really wrong.
jealous that she can be tired and not say goodnight,
but tired and yet not go home.
jealous that she can always be with her phone,
yet not replying cos she forgot.
jealous that she has time for so many things,
but maybe unknowingly sacrificed smth that means alot to you.
jealous that the identity of what is important to her can be known,
but yet deep inside you dont know which is more important.

i dont know.
tell me, is being jealous that why others can have the time but not her really wrong. is being jealous that why she can afford to make the time for others but not you wrong. is being jealous about why others that dont mean anything can put you as first on their list but she herself puts you last wrong.

now tell me,
do you all really think being jealous feels good.
who is the one that's really at fault,
the one who makes you feel jealous, or the one that is jealous.
because many times, being jealous only shows how much she means to you.

if its a crime, im sorry send me to jail.
do what is best, call thepolice.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 8:22 AM

its been such a long time..

ever been asked a question, where you dont know the answer to it,
or rather, you dont know which answer thats within your mind to give?
someone asked me, randomly, so you are damn happy now la.
and for a moment i was quite held back by its answer.
its just a simple question, yes or no, you can say,
but i believe there's always this line in the middle,
that begs to differ.

there's been this thing on my mind recently, and i think i should say it.
soulmate, i am sorry for what i have done, and what i did.
might be selfish, might be hurtful must be stupid,
i am, sorry.its been quite long since we last spoken more than that word hi and bye,
and i dont know why.
but what i do know,
it is never worth to let that friendship go, just like that.
people do make mistakes, but maybe i made one that i should not have.

anyhow, if i have to , i will stand alone,
fight this mental battle alone.
i just want to say i am sorry.
dont ask me why. why now. why here.
cos i know someday i would have to say it, and its always more than just a sorry,
but at least i know, you would read this,
because i know that at least you would bother to read this.

so thanks, and i now realise, what they meant by a true friend you could relate to, when you need them. not just a replacement. so im sorry, smate.


its not that i regret, or im suffering,
its that, i feel estranged by what i have to give and what i get back.
after all,

21 is just that bit not enough to beat 2 elevens.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 10:28 PM