Checkmate!

hm.
i dont know why, when i see you,
i always notice things that arent so nice.

like how today,
when i walked out,
i just had to see it.
fate why cant you just let me not.
its not that there's anything wrong

i walked away,
and thoughts of what she said to me started to come in again.
i told myself no. no.

i think if one day i were to really see it for myself,
i just might not be able to,
take it.
maybe ill just dont know how to react.
or maybe.
ill just act like i never see it. like i always do.

at least there's smth to look forward to this wkend! hah
studyyyyyy!

oh and i must say:
im not emo!!
(:
happyyyy


oei you. number nine.

ha,
how many shots do you need?

posted by KIMKEAT @ 8:16 AM

ecp beach is good man. its changed so so much. but its still good. the wind, the place now more properly lit and the ambience and surroundings is gooood. and the sea, as calm as it is still. with the moon looking over you. everything just feels so much better there. if only the wind can take away my thoughts with them. hai. snap back to reality, you have to face the truths.
and whoa.
the satay beehoooon was nice man. it makes your day. (:

okay anyway thats yesterday. for today. WHOA. meet-the-parents session. hoho i tell you man, my mummy was not supposed to go. i told my tcher she wasnt free cos i want to prevent certain complications like -. and omg my tchr called my mum at 3 plus ask if she's free to go down. and she said YES. i was like omg shit and everything. but being the nice guy i am i wont let her go alone so i bathed changed and cabbed down along with her.

you can say that i didn expect it to go so well. it is much better than i expected. i didn expect them to say ceertain things. nice things.
my ct said i still got hope and if i do start studying now ill make it for the end years but i must start studying now. and that there's no big problem with me, just lazy. and generally im a good student smth like that. chem tcher said that she was quite shocked that i failed the mid year exam and i was like whoa. am i that good in chem. she said i had the ability, just abit lazy and attitude towards studies abit bad. as long as i change now should be okay. see, im able and she said in private to me after that, said i have such a caring mum and still disappoint her. kinda made me sad. hai i dontknow.
and then maths tchr was the best la. she seem to understand me so well. she said that i pay alot of attention in class, except for being too quiet abt questions. and when my mmummy asked her to call her if i skip class and such, she said no la dont worry kimkeat has been coming for all my lessons regularly and has been payng attention i dont think he will skip class. she even said i am sure kimkeat will do all his work. i trust him. whoa. that last sentence. i took quite long to react. she's a good tchr. that day she talked to me. and can tell she cares lah. maybe. ill just start doing maths. she's nice. thats why i dont skip her class.
and she said, certain things im sure kimkeat knows it himself lah,
i think that he just rather keeps it to himself.
hah applies everywhere.

and the happyyy event of the dayyy.
hooo we are playing we are playing we are playing we are playing we ARE playing!
yes we are still going to take part in the 7-a-side soccer tournament, and even tho need to pay i dont mind! its next weekend even tho it clashes with alex bday celeb on sat and william bday celeb on sunday i still dont mind.
cos it means i will be able to play with the year2 soccer boys againn. i want to play with them as a team again. yay. i miss the team.
and event though we'll be playing against the under21 team HAHA,
til then, we shall not fear we shall not worry.
YAY

okay for now lets focus on tmr's match.
-17, bless me
i got no confidence left to play


shes changing you into someone you're not

posted by KIMKEAT @ 3:00 AM

i posted one very very very long post for you.
but i just deleted it.
simply becos i dont think youll be happy that everyone will be reading it,
cos is public and on my blog.

so yeah.

to summarise up everything,
im sorry.
but i really cant hang on anymore.
its slipping out of my hands,
and i give up trying to reach out to hold on to it.

im sorry.

im sorry. to you and to your best friend.
you know,
maybe everything happened because of me.
and to your best friend,
if you think im wrong, and you find faults with me,
im sorry,
but i really did cherish your best friend.
maybe its my fault everything happened,
but,
i tried my best to save it.
im just like on a boat offshore,
drifting further and further away
til one day
i'll just be lost in the oceans.


forget about your studies lah,
and just spend time with _____.
would this sentence anger you now?
i dont think so..

cos for them you will.

NEGLECT. DOUBT. FAITH. TRUST.
and
LOVE.
yes yes no no no.
WHYYYYY


dont ask me why it turned out this way.
im just not assured at all.
and dont tell me you need me,
because you dont. you need ____,
whilst i stand quietly watching you from aside
waiting to be called upon when needed.


save meee.
why is it like that..

if you think you're the most important person in my life,
check your email.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 5:23 AM

i feel so accomplished now. hah, me, being a nice brother, went to send my sister off at the airport!( even though i went alone. sis even asked me why i went alone, but whats wrong with going alone!) hoo. i just felt very satisfied after that. haha i dont know why. and my sis looked happy too. so yay. happy.
sis, enjoy your hols yeah. i never told you this, but, ill miss you. see you soon with many gifts for ME! (:

another happy thing, baby baby baby. cousin gave birth this morning naturally at 10 plus am. so happy for her. and i haerd, the new one looks exactly just like the other 2yr old girl. so cute mannn cant wait to see little baby boy julian my nieceeee (:

yah, perhaps with so many unreal people in this world, they are just not true at all. so not true that they dont even know they are one of those unreal people themselves. you never know whats gonna happen next. so beware, but there's no need to fear. its not as if you dont stab pple yourself. its not as if you dont act nice. its not as if you never did anything wrong. hah, if you think this is about you, maybe you think too much maybe you're guilty!

lastly.
number nine,
im sorrry.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 4:48 AM

whoa, i tell you man, im real confused.
like really.
all my thoughts, like got conflict.
there's this very uncomfortable feeling inside me,
i cant describe it!

i guess im learning to take things,
that come right smack in my face.

just accept things as they come lah,
you're not capable enough to change any of them.
hah

so tired,of all these thoughts..

if you think my damn life is easy,
think again, or
try living it.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 7:11 AM

i dont know how to say this,
to make it seem not so childish.
basically, posting this will already make it very childish,
but hah im still gonna do it anyway.

i dont blame you for jumping at her defence, along the way just so rashly cripplong people who you think have done all the fuck wrong in the world. matter of fact is, nobody did anything wrong.

to me, i never denied that yes i was the one that gave up on her. and to me, they werent 'reporting' to me. they barely told me things that they felt wasnt right. but it didnt matter, cos i had already gave up on her. and to her, maybe some of the things she did, no matter the emotions involved or not, are unacceptable. but she didn felt anything was wrong, so its okay, we all got nth more to say abt that.

i had already used my last chip of the game, haha, or rather, i was never playing the game, i gave up playing it. i wonder who is the one that always think that their friend is in the right.

im always doing things that i forbid others to do, yet doing the same thing at the same time. dont accuse others of something when all along i have been the culprit as well. hm, i can just say, well said. i am useless, i never said i wasnt.

im really tired lah,
ill still say this to you,
let go lah, i really give up.
that way,
everyone will be much happier also..

its kinda weird and ironic at the same time,
to see how everyone would be happy to see something bad happen.
but, fact is just that
everyone would just be happier if we just walked away from each other.
or rather i should say,
those that matter to you would be happier if we just went our own ways..

i know, i am nothing.
thats why i gave up inthe first place, right?
hah,
today i faced, the many ironies of life.

and i can tell you,
nothing's gonna get better.
well at least nth got better last night.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 4:41 AM

you know,
i always thought things happened coincidentally,
but now,
i feel
everything was made to happen that way,
delibrately and for a reason.

if so,
i can only say,
you got what you wanted
you knew i was going to react this way.


the agony and pain of what i heard is causing me to lose myself
even though i would have chosen not to hear something like that
especially at this time,

if not for you,
i would be very much in the dark and
still feeling stupid abt this
this then is what is called fucking irony.
i let you in on the dark, and you left me in the dark.
HAH

oh and you wannt to know what fucking irony is?
its when you claim you lost something
but in actual fact,
you have quickly found it back already.
you didn lose it, even if you did,
you found one back. not the same one, but maybe even better. heh

nothing else matters

im still very very thankful
and very very grateful that
you told me everything you felt wasnt feeling right,

thank you soulmate.
thank you. (:

fuck life.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 9:00 AM

life's just pretty messed up now,
i dont know!

this question's been asked,

if you had a chance,
to live life again,
would it be any different?
hm.


i realise,
in life, many things happen without a reason to answer to them,
so
what happens if you need an answer.
in life, not everything is explained for with a reason.



when you're free,
check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLD54dVRpjw

amazing vocals, nice song. (:

posted by KIMKEAT @ 7:18 AM

hm.

today felt different. full of lessons,
kinda took my attention away for awhile.
i dont know why, but ill just keep thinking about it,
even during lessons.

i felt a little bit free of worry,
but at the same time i felt lost and empty.
okay maybe im in a little denial.
a small, just that small part says,
im miserable.
but the other says,
its good la.
things will turn out fine.

eh i was wondering, why number nine man. hahahah
so random!


your icecream is right there in front of you;
its with them..


and and.

belindapoon says:
okay!
belindapoon says:
blog that belindarocksBIGTIME.
belindapoon says:
thanks
belindapoon says:
hahahaha


you smile too!

posted by KIMKEAT @ 7:37 AM

ha.

i give up on you today.
i give up on you tomorrow.
i give up on you. =)
i give up on you. =)
i give up on you. =)




=))))))))

posted by KIMKEAT @ 7:30 AM

i took part in it for two years, i had the chance to.
both years i led the team, both years i lost it

now how sad is that

i just totally felt lost on the pitch, i felt lost,
my eyes were off the ball, and i just couldnt focus

because i kept looking at the empty stands.
sorry guys, i did what i was capable of at that moment.

disappointment, anger, sadness and regret.
its hard to understand,
the feeling that is sinking in.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 10:18 PM

i turned around and looked,
i tried to find you,

but you just werent there.


my phone's screwing up
i wanna get a new phoneeeeeee
help me choseeee hoho

interhouse on monday,
forget it

posted by KIMKEAT @ 11:30 PM

wah i got smth to say.
my right last toe nail was going to drop off, damn disgusting lah then going to drop halfway already.
THEN TODAY after spe i was going to bathe, i realised my left last toe nail is going to come off already also!
AND THEN AND THEN just five mins ago i was walking in my house and i kicked this stupid idiot sofa chair,
guess what.
WAH DAMN PAIN LAH the left last toe nail like half came off already wah damn pain damn pain wha. lucky now the pain subside already.

let me tell you. never wear converse canvas shoes to play soccer or run or sprint. seriously. or youll lose two last toe nails.



belindapoon says:
anw yay i know i look cuter now.
belindapoon says:
whatever
![[ KIMKEAT! ]™ ! -Ignorance is BLISS says:
whatever square
belindapoon says:
whatever cube!
![[ KIMKEAT! ]™ ! -Ignorance is BLISS says:
AHHH NO MATHS PLS
belindapoon says:
YES I AGREE TO A VERY GIGANTIC EXTENT.

hahaha i think its funny hahahahaha
cheerup la tskk

posted by KIMKEAT @ 7:26 AM

dont ask me why i did what i did cos i dont know why i did it either. i was just too damn bored that i decided to do smth like this and just clean up my blog a little bit. hahaha i was reading through the posts that i did a long time ago, as in really very very very way long back ago, and they're really hilarious. seriously. they just dont sound like they're typed by me lah. hahahaha and i was laughing so badly to myself my mum thought i was nuts. hahaha they are really funny i tell you. hahahaha
well, not that i updated often. but yeah, haha they are just so amusing.

these few days have been here and there, i cant really rmbr how i got through them too anyway. like a little interhouse here, and a little reflecting there on how badly i screwed up my COMMON TEST ( no its not mid years its common test leh how i happy can anot ok this is smth like an inside joke). i really did them very badly lah. i think its really time i wake up and start studying for real man. for all you know i might just get kicked out of school. hah and then thats when they get the last laugh.

wah i dont know what to say. but really man. my exams are really just so damn badly done i got no idea what hit me. hai what can i do but to try and wake myself up. damn it la. i just feel quite down now i dont know why. got to get over it quick man.

interhouse this year only have 7 teams. quite little. my team's kinda settled down. the draw for the grouping's tomorrow, really hope i get a good draw so i can make up for my upset last year. i want to play well, i hope i do. watch phoenix, they are the only house to send in two teams. kick ass huh ahaha.
and the seven a side tournament that i was supposed to take part in with the tpjc soccer boys has been pushed back to 5th august. damn it man. might not be taking part in it anymore might be withdrawing cos they got prelims, i think dreammove is really mean to push it back, i cant play with them anymore. i want to !

zoomzoomzoom was good, hahah square boy and fatcat.
and thanks for that talk mate. at least we caught up a little bit and not all was left behind.
gerahhhh get well soon!

busy girl we havent been talking if you realise, so yeah, just hope that you do takecare of yourself. i hope the distance doesnt get bigger and bigger til i dont know anything anymore dont understand anything dont get anything at all anymore hah. yup takecare.


alright got nth much to say already,
kinda random but,

belindapoon we agreed that your hair now is nice, nicer makes you look better and more matured.
congrats. cheer up.


STOP SCREWING UP EXAMS LAH WAKE UP

posted by KIMKEAT @ 5:49 AM