Saturday, September 29, 2007

there's so much sorrow in me now that i dont know how to say it out. im getting increasingly very frustrated with everything and anything around me. i dont know why.
and sometimes i just feel so guilty about it.
becos its simply not worth it at all.

im feeling rather down. everything that i study just doesnt seem to stay there. my mind's filled with so much of something else, that as much as i dont want it to be there, all i can do is to scream at myself and make myself stop. but as much as i want to, i really cant.
its just so helpless.

given me a choice that i had in the past, i would have taken it. i would have just quit and left. if you would just give/offer me that chance now, i would grab it. and i am really still making out hope to myself, i am still waiting for that chance to come again.

the sense of feeling where i dont want to think so much but i cant help it totally sucks. whilst i am very convinced that it is not worth it being so sad, just like how it isnt worth it when i gave a friendship up, i cant help thinking how bastard i have been. bastard to my friends, bastard to my parents. but i cant help it. what for am i feeling so down. what for am i thinking so much, i really dont know.

i really need more time. i want more time. but i dont have it. im pretty sure right now that if you give me more time i will get over it. i will walk away further and tell myself its no point. there are many things that cannot be said out, you know it yourself and its enough. but. finally i know what she meant. i lost. the nothingness inside, now i really understand, how you can be empty at a really crowded place. i get it now.

i dont want to quit. but if i had a chance to right now i would. i dont want to look back at everything i have done and tell myself, i am so wasted.

i dont understand why we have to wait until things are really so bad that it cannot be helped anymore, then we start to regret. maybe we have already reached that stage. we just like to wait until its just too late. and its coming. i see it. or i have seen it. so i just want to tell everyone out there. dont.
its stupid.

smile, for every smile of mine comes from yours.


someone, save my life please.


its just not worth it,
when you are so happy.
and i've become nothing.

beach beach beach beach beach

posted by KIMKEAT @ 4:25 AM

Friday, September 28, 2007

im sitting here right beside my little window
looking out at the moon
at the same time
wondering, if you are doing so too.
i miss a few little people
but i wont say who.

sums up my day.
and oh, the moon has been really round these few days,
roundd and bright!

2 stupid papers down. GP.
damn. can be better,
okay i really shouldnt be talking rubbish here.

i wonder if you remember,
that time you asked me a qn before, and i told you no you shouldnt,
i woner, did i make a mistake asking you to stay here.
its really stressed up.

and you. get well soon. -

posted by KIMKEAT @ 8:52 AM

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

i got this damn shit indescribable feeling now. and i think im naming it stress. i think the last time i felt it was 2 years ago when i was doing olevels. anyway, im facing possibly the most vital 2 weeks of my ongoing 2 years in junior college. and i've been trying to study, doing maths here and there, and possibly its been the most i've ever studied in my whole 2 years in jc. even tho its not even the real deal yet. aha. the consequences are bad bad bad if i dont do just okay. i dont even dare think about it.
i just feel bad. about so many things.

now that i've seen it myself.

been looking through all the stuffs/rubbish i typed in my drafts. just lazy to post it. dont see the need to anyway. haha. i guess there are so many things i wanna say, but i just wont say them anyway. its a matter of choice, all these unsaid things, not that they matter alot.

was feeling kinda random just now. and i was thinking; girls are complicated man. for me, it makes me conclude that, girls only come when they really need you. if not, you're most probably forgotten. like as a resort kind of thing. i dont know. and this is not directed at anyone. it just feels that way. i used to have only one friend that i feel was not like that. like she was really true. but, one, only. can you believe. haha. maybe its just the distance that makes me feel this way, have distanced away from a couple or more friends. such a sad thing. well. if you ask me, the 3 things i dont understand most right now. physics' gotta be first, second's gotta be girls, and third's gotta be why the hell am i still here typing this and not studying.

guess im just feeling sad. sad is a kind of feeling. so dont ask me why i am sad. =) but actually, im trying to be cheerful you know. haha. guess you were right. i walked right in and got lost. it was waiting to happen.

i feel so bored now and im sick of studying. i just want to give uppp. let go. its such a heavy burden. i dont want...
i really dont really understand, do you really have to be so touchy.
TO ALL, cheer cheer cheer up okay.
study hard, its gonna be over soon.
mugggg.

you look so different.
its been long.

i got so much to say, but nah. its better left unsaid.
i cant wait to go on my holidayyyy.
dont want to studyy. =(

FFFFFFFFFFFFF
ish and co. man....


slowly and slowly, s l o w l y . .

dont think so much dont think so much
and hey,
number 9!

posted by KIMKEAT @ 7:51 AM

Saturday, September 01, 2007

i am happy.
i dont have any feelings anymore.
i dont need anything.
i feel fine all day.
i am not lost.

and to think mum always said,
it is so so wrong to lie.

but they said, lying to yourself isnt that bad a thing is it.

study!
its either you get it or you dont.

posted by KIMKEAT @ 8:10 AM